The Honeymoon

The first few weeks of my stay in the Land of Rising Sun was like a honeymoon. Every day was filled with excitement, and at times, as it is true with any relationship, with shocking discoveries too. It started from the very first night that I was stranded at the airport due to lack of communication causing me to miss my connecting flight to Osaka. It ended when I realized that I had to extend my stay here for the foreseeable future.

I was fascinated by new revelations every time I took a tour of the city. People, as most tourists would agree, were kind and polite. The politeness, that had no limits, was revealed not only in behavior but even more so in language. For example, the prefix‘o’ or ‘go’ that needs to be added to some words in reverence to the person you are talking to show respect. This, in fact, is one of the most difficult parts of learning  Japanese because if you don’t use it correctly, you will end up being overly-polite to yourself. That does not demonstrate modesty and humbleness required in relationships and it is quite embarrassing.

"Sumimasen, enpitsu made", once I was asked by a man at the public phone who needed a pen to write down something. This might simply be translated as, “Excuse me, could I use your pencil for a second”. However, there is a deeper meaning in those three words that lies at the heart of the speaker’s intent that to this day it is still an enigma to me. ‘Sumimasen’, can be used as an expression for apology, like ‘I am sorry’ or ‘Excuse me’. But, the cultural connotation is phenomenal. It means gratitude for receiving something I don’t deserve, and a sense of guilt for causing you the inconvenience that never stops. Is this kind of attitude- one of the most important social values in Japan- necessary for a harmonious relationship, ? Sometimes even more essential than justice or the truth. Little I knew about Japanese language at that time, I was delighted to understand the subtlety of this expression because I had just learned it in my Japanese class a few days earlier. What the man was actually communicating was: “I am sorry to inconvenience you to the point that I need to ask you to lend me your pencil for a second”, so much in just three words, huh! I lent him my pencil with an admiring smile.

Sometimes, I want to pat myself on the shoulder for surviving without undue hardship all these meticulous and strict traditional practices expressed in spoken language. Only, heaven knows, how frequently and how many people I have hurt with my language gaffes. Here I would like to say to all those people “Sumimasen!”

I was truly overwhelmed with helpfulness of people. "What is the way to the post office", I had enquire once. Even in this small daily life routine the Japanese demonstrated their national trait, the spirit of helping each other in time of need, volunteerism or the importance of consultation. Another passer-by stopped by and tried to help. And soon it was turning into a small crowd to guide this foreigner who seemed to have been lost. The helpful crowd had consulted each other as for the best way possible to the post office saying to each other ‘Desuyou ne’, right? When they realized I don’t understand any of their words and wild gestures, it was decided that one of them accompany me all the way to the post office.

When I was talking about this with another foreigner, she related this story. She was home-staying with a Japanese family, and just like me, she was truly touched by the heart-felt affection the family was constantly rendering to make her stay in Japan as comfortable and pleasant as they could. She wanted to show her gratitude to the family in some ways. She was still trying to figure out how to show it but to no avail. Then one day, she accidentally caused fire in her room on the tatami mat (Japanese room-flooring) which is easily burnable. The frantic host mother rushed into the room to see what had happened. My friend, still in disbelief, continued saying, even then, the host mother, struggling between whether calling the fire department before it was too late, or trying to contain the fire by herself, had a smile on her face. Fortunately, the fire was put out in time damaging only the tatami mat. That smile, she went on to say, was the heaviest smile she had ever felt in her heart. the smile made her even more ashamed; she said it would have felt better if the mother slapped her on the face at that moment. Iranians are also very kind to visitors and guests. In fact there is a saying that a guest is God’s friend. Sometimes comically Iranians are told they kill you with their kindness. I thought it is not so comical; this is how one can kill you with kindness.

I never tire strolling down the shopping avenues looking at the brightly-lit stores with orderly-arranged showcases. The sales clerks seemed to never tire of smiling at customers. The exquisite services made shopping such a pleasant activity it makes you want to shop even more (which is actually the purpose of the service). The best of all was elevator attendants who take the term ‘taking your job seriously’ to a new level. First you enter the elevator, the attendant who closely resembles a 747 uniformed flight attendant, greets you so cheerfully that you cannot help but smile back. With extreme professional courtesy, she announces all the stops she will be on her one directional ascend, while professionally gesturing at the floor guide also giving the necessary warning of what to do in the event of emergency.

The visit to Shinsaibashi Shopping Arcade was everything the bazaar of my hometown lacked. It did not have the exotic architectural design of a bazaar, but the orderliness and the Japan-like oriental beauty was quite impressive. Ironically, I was missing the hustle and bustle of the street merchants, the vitality with the shouts of shopkeepers inviting customers to come in. One thing, in downtown Osaka that I found conspicuously different from Tehran’s streets, was how easily accessible were the nightclubs, drinking bars, and the shops where they were selling what were called adult toys.

The visits to the cultural city of Kyoto and the historical city of Nara reminded me of Esfahan and Shiraz in Iran. Interestingly, even the Japanese spoken in Kyoto sounded similar to Persian spoken in Esfahan in its sweet, charming accent.

Each temple in those cities had its own historical or cultural story. The tranquility of the gardens would give you peace of mind and make you ponder upon divinity, the spiritual world, and the philosophy of man and his relation with nature. With all of these spiritual beliefs, interwoven to daily life, so deeply that it becomes part of culture and tradition, it made me wonder why people think that they don’t believe in God or a religion.

One of the things that surprised me in those temples was to find the stone statues considered to be deities. There were many; for children, pregnant women, business, and so on. The one for women who cannot get pregnant was particularly interesting. Every object you could see in the temple was the shape of a male’s genital organ. At the end of the tour of this unique temple, when we thought we had seen everything there was to see, we decided to sit down for an after-tour of Japanese tea and cake called ‘omanju’. A friend went to pick up a box of cake from the souvenir shop. When he returned and opened the box, when we saw the shape of the cakes, we realized that we need to look around some more. Some statues in another temple were wearing caps and bibs. I asked about it and was told the cap was for keeping the stones warm so as not catch cold, and the bib was for drooling!

At another visit to a temple, I noticed a car with all the four doors open.  A Buddhist priest was holding a stick with shredded papers attached to the tip, like a duster; he was swaying it over the car and saying something, a prayer or magic words maybe! Baffled with this unfamiliar scene, curiously, I enquired as to the meaning of this. The explanation was that he was blessing the car and driving the evil of accidents away. Apparently, for some, the civil insurance was not enough and they wanted to have God’s insurance as well in order not to have any accidents in the first place.

This kind of superstitious belief surprised me very much; I found it paradoxical in a country so advanced in science and technology. After all, I realized that Japan, similar to Iran, is an oriental country, and unlike its western counterparts, these kinds of beliefs still exist.

I was enjoying my days like this then suddenly I realized the holiday was over.